Here I go again.

And here I go again.

My head hurts.
I feel tired, and yet I can't sleep.
I feel slightly nauseous.
I have butterflies in my stomach.
Although I'm not actually crying, my body feels as though it were.
I feel like I'm being pulled apart, my pieces scattered on the floor.

I know the sun is outside, I know I should go sit outside or something, and yet all I want to do is sit here. Just sit here.

Escape.

I want to escape.

I have tons of work to do. I have a midterm tomorrow, and while a part of me knows I SHOULD care, and a part of me recognizes that I will probably be regretting my actions soon, at the moment I don't care at all. It all just seems so silly and pointless.

I just want to continue laying here in my bed, melting into my bed, being one with my bed. Sinking.

I had a list of things I was supposed to do today, and once again I know I'm supposed to care, but I just don't.

I'm eating cookies again, trying to fill the emptiness inside of me.

I feel disgusted with myself.

I'm being self-destructive. I'm ruining my own life, I'm watching myself do it, and yet I just can't seem to stop doing it. There is no one else to blame. No one else, except myself. I'm a masochist.

My heart hurts. Did you know that your heart can physically hurt? Well I'm telling you, it can.

Current song: "Lover I don't have to Love" - Bright Eyes